Three indications of a manipulative individual controlling you, coupled with actions to counteract it
In the complex world of human connections, understanding and dealing with toxic people is a crucial skill. Two experts, Nancy Irwin, PsyD, of Seasons Rehab Center in Malibu, California, and Shannon Thomas, LCSW, have shared valuable insights on how to identify and manage toxic relationships.
Firstly, it's essential to recognise the signs of a toxic individual. These people may exhibit abusive, unsupportive, or unhealthy emotional behaviours, making one feel dependent on their opinion and doubt one's own. Their manipulation often goes unnoticed, and one knows they are being manipulated when they begin doing, saying, or believing things that serve the manipulator, as opposed to themselves.
Manipulation can take many forms, including the blame game, gaslighting, and love bombing. A toxic person may inspire strange changes in behaviour and cause one to doubt themselves or do things they ordinarily would not do. Signs to identify a toxic person also include being judgmental, having an obsessive neediness, refusing to take responsibility or apologize for their actions, and lacking financial, professional, physical, personal, or interpersonal stability.
Once identified, the best course of action is to implement no contact. However, healing from toxic relationships takes time, and it's important to take it day by day, celebrating the little victories, and having patience as you overcome the minor setbacks. After interacting with a toxic person, one may feel emotionally drained, exhausted, and negative. Giving yourself some distance before tapering off contact can be challenging, especially in relationships such as partnerships, family, or co-workers.
Removing toxicity from your life is only part of the battle; you'll also need to give yourself time to heal from the emotional and physical damage. Surrounding yourself with supportive people who love you can aid in the healing process. Forgiving yourself for being taken in by a skilled manipulator is important in moving forward. Be proud of yourself and all the steps you've taken to make your life better.
If you need help, it's perfectly okay to seek it. The magazine mentioned the psychologist Kristin Neff in relation to recognising and distancing oneself from toxic relationships and identifying personal warning signs. Remember, taking care of your mental health is just as important as physical health.
In the end, it's crucial to remember that healthy people encourage and empower one to be their best, while manipulators tell one that they know what's best for them and use it as a tool to put one down. Toxic individuals can drain one emotionally and leave one feeling responsible for their problems. A toxic person's emotional outbursts can keep you on your toes, making you walk on eggshells.
By recognising and addressing toxic relationships, you are taking a significant step towards a healthier, happier life.
